virtual care lab Spatial & Access Intimacy: Research Micro-residency with the Bentway x From Later
Backup doc:



What have you learned from this process?
- I enjoyed learning about the 'study' ideas in Ben's gathering & being invited to that academic conversation. Also loads of resources / links from various people. 
- Building community, relationships, and deciding collective decsions take time. Some processes can be streamlined, where others require more care
- Negotiation between culture and structure 
- Transparency is key in decision making<<<yes 
- Deep desire for folks to have agency in their choices in the digital world, many of us are frustrated by the lack of 'humanness' and care in terms of service - that require us to use the platforms we wish <<<yeah it was really nice to encounter others who feel like this & identify and name these experiences together 

This made me reflect on the extent to which our online spaces are built to prioritize the individual, even in 'community' contexts - limited trust for others, lack of promotion of responsible/positive interpersonal interaction & community building. How rules focus on restricting negative individual behavior (we all have an idea of what's negative but it's hard to identify the tools & responsibiltiies we have that are actually constructive) << knowing that online spaces are rooted in individuality is helpful bc it shows the system itself is working exactly how it should - it's not our faults that we feel so isolated online + knowing this encourages us to build new spaces + altenative ways of engagement

What are the positives and negatives of working collectively*, in terms of our sense of care?
*what has collectively meant for our working process? I probably wouldn't identify it as collective so much as fluid, which has required different kinds of structure. One positive has been the way people are able to flow in and out of our various avenues for discussion and contribute really valuable thoughts, but the flip side is that it's hard to create consistency that way. Somewhere in between is maybe where we can create trust & a sense of reliability, and i think paradoxically that comes throuhg the way the fluidity of it forces us to notice how different people are, and the variety of needs & capabilities that exist  <<< totally. how do we remain open + fluid while providing a trusting container that respects the various needs/capacities of our community? I think our upcoming processes around vcl operations, values, and intentions will be helpful in responding to some of the stickiness that came up here keeping a container open means having to respond with agility, recognizing there are a handful of factors that make us and 
- working collectively is so rich with information! it's hard to understand how to distill or codify while honouring the various perspectives. like, what's the core value here? what is absolutely necessary within the confines we have been given? And, how do we hold the nuances and multiple voices?

What are the things we need, to feel cared about, in digital spaces? 
Acknowledgement helps -- can be hard for people to feel 'seen' and also to see the humanity & individuality of others (are there things this looks like, what has worked here?) 
who / where does this care come from? who do we want to be in negotiation / reciprocity with? 
"Spatial joy" // sense of fun, invitation to self-expression in new ways compared to physical spaces 
Freedom to play with spectrum of anonymity  genuine laughter! warmth! truly happy to see you ! 
-- vcl discord can feel overwhelming!! 
-- Genuine respect, especially in context of hierarchies of knowledge a horizontal repositioning
- Needs can be hard to put language around, communicate, understand, and even then may not be able to be met based on group capabilities and priorities. Those holding space can try to be as attentive as possible and invite expression of needs, folks are coming in from different contexts. 
- mindfulness that everyone have a different perspective, needs, and capacities. different tools work for different people, different platforms and ways of communicating are not one size fits all 

Invitation to communicate needs & basic respect/mindfulness around diversity of perspectives 

The sense of not needing to explain oneself - not needing to have an explanation for why you have a certain experience, can't show up at a certain time, etc. setting expectations for how it's okay to engage or not engage 
"Show up in whatever capacity you can" 
Discord Gardening....which is basically the extra step of posting things for other people, not just for oneself....uphill battle  
getting to know each other, remembering each others' birthdays, graduations. know and feel resonance with each others' values and where each other is coming from.

safety in the sense that I will not be judged ...just accepted, room for messing up and keep each otehr accountable in a joyful yet messy way

Consistency >>>> Trust 

What are our responsibilities towards each other (especially) in digital spaces to create a feeling of care & community? 
-- Capaciousness of time & setting the tone 
"time as a relative you walk alongside and carry with you"; tone of pace 
Remembering that there are greater margins of error/misinterpretation around what others post & how others read what we may post in forums -- responsibilty of mindfulness around how we send & receive messages communicating and listening. not having to show/perform listening and synthesize at the same time... 
the responsibility to Communicate presence - "I'm here and I'm listening" esp. so that we feel an understanding and give allowance for each other to not turn on their video for ex. 

Platforms prioritize attention on single-speaker videos instead of grid view // 'hide non video' 

Create opportunities for community & presence without productivity 

have the opportunity to just engagement games..just share  

What ideas & strategies work on a somatic level to support this process?  

rlly love when people are at vcl and they're like "Camera is off but i'm here, folding laundry" or like "ok! i'm here!" and they're making Brussel sprouts or something … reminds us abt the body and the full person. we're allowed to show up if we have chores, or we're hungry, or have other things to do, or not show up and that's cool too ...

After this process, what provocations can we offer to others to explore some of the same directions? (e.g. prompts or questions) 

What are some terms of service we would propose for virtual care lab to adopt as a digital space?

What does the future look like through this project? (We don’t have to answer this right now

Procedure/logistics: Tasks 


Terms that Serve Us - "Study"

Fred Moten: “When I think about the way we use the term ‘study,’ I think we are committed to the idea that study is what you do with other people. It’s talking and walking around with other people, working, dancing, suffering, some irreducible convergence of all three, held under the name of speculative practice. The notion of a rehearsal – being in a kind of workshop, playing in a band, in a jam session, or old men sitting on a porch, or people working together in a factory – there are these various modes of activity. The point of calling it ‘study’ is to mark that the incessant and irreversible intellectuality of these activities is already present. These activities aren’t ennobled by the fact that we now say, ‘oh, if you did these things in a certain way, you could be said to have been studying.’ To do these things is to be involved in a kind of common intellectual practice. What’s important is to recognize that that has been the case – because that recognition allows you to access a whole, varied, alternative history of thought.” (110)

Harney, Stefano, and Fred Moten. The Undercommons: Fugitive Planning & Black Study. Minor Compositions, 2013.

1) What if anything do you find challenging/compelling/interesting about the Moten quote in relation to the idea of "study"?


"Terms of Service": What are the "terms" that serve us? <<<"Terms of Serve-Us"?!?!?!
- study: (Ben's proposal) - see "The Undercommons"
How can we invert or subvert or redefine other institutionalized terms....? e.g. "research" - what forms of media or creation or imagination count as "research"
- community: this term often feels co-opted as an advertising/marketing term by major platforms - how do we define it in a positive & specific way? 
- collaboration: while the idea of "doing with others" is often valorized, we may encounter a lot of difficulty in actually cooperating (given imperatives to compete and assert individuality); how do we want to "do together" in virtual care lab?
- care: as an active practice of listening & engagement and....??? what does this mean to individuals vs. collectives 
- virtual: as shorthand, we might say "virtual" to indicate "online", yet we exist in varying degrees of intimacy regardless of how we encounter one another; what might "virtual" mean beyond "not co-present"? << 'hybrid' is another term thrown around with digital worlds and we have tripped over defining this a few  times so far. also useful to think of words that relate to our specific context in digital/hybrid space 
access / accessibility: ??? challenges to access beyond what is considered "accessibility"
- user: Not sure what we would prefer, but earlier reflections, seems this language feels problematic for some. 

one possibility for our collective TOS - offer a basic statement on what we are/do collectively and then offer definitions of the 'terms' involved in understanding, then leave it up to collective to act & interpret accordingly
contextual words (words that are helpful to contextualize our work & perspectives but whose definitions may be unfamiliar or not really well understood....i.e. things we should provide links or further reading but not have to define on our own)
I actually also think this could be a nice framework for future collective & individual interpretations in a variety of forms....e.g. people could always be free to see these terms as writing (or other creative) prompts around their own practices & perspectives. 

Inversions, Conversions, Transformations, Rejections of the "Terms of Service".....
* the terms of service usually governs the platform's relation to its user(s). here, the terms of service do not govern the relation between the user and the space/platform, but among users +1 "among"
* "terms" in the traditional terms of service means conditions/rules. but here we may use a different definition of the word "terms": purposefully defined words. almost a sort of jargon that belongs to this space, is the language of the space and gives it a unique constellation of meanings
"users" having an active stake in the involvement in the term of service - it's not outside of the person using the platform, both are intertwined - they inform each other
space for TOS to be wrong, need updates, not untouchable or the expert
also i'm really not down with the language of "user" << yes same here!!  how about "participant" ?
Ownership of materials/media/content generated could be collective instead of platform-owned,  and focus on respecting others' work; enforce notions of collectivity to end products 
-- Ways to modify or make fluid; defined by community 
-- Establishing the idea that this is a collective instead of a hierarchy 
-- When we operate as a collective, we must recognize & respect everyone's individuality 
Non-binary -- not just accept or refuse
Intentions, values rather than rules
Emphasizing the relationships between people rather than between "user" and "service"
Subverting/working against the logic of constant improvement
Words that jump out at me from Google's TOS: relationship, permission, we/us/our, expectations ("What you can expect"), improve
Form/format could celebrate fluidity and difference as a way of challenging rigidity of legal TOS 
Encourage different ways to make use of this space and use collective TOS as a way to shape those uses in a positive way 
-- Priority/goal is to form a caring community...rather than profit motive of platform. What does a TOS look like with this priority? 
-- "Terms" as simply words, languages, definitions, our shared vernacular around our community rather than as a set of rules -- Clarifies our shared understanding/intentions, rather than as regulations to obey 
Resolution of issues could be community-based and also potentially fluid  < could be monthly discussions on updates, using them as generative prompts
Format intentionally readable and direct, rather than intentionally obscure < if we choose to use particular terms, i think it would be helpful to come up with community created definitions and sources for further reading if people are interested agree! and linking examples could be really helpful - point is for people to understand not skip past 
-- Ease of accessibility is paramount!!! 

a living document that changes when the community the parties it protect (?) changes innately
instead of a one-on-one agreement between the two parties, it's a one-to-many guide ..? not agreement since it's shouldn't be transactional
mutually beneficial and not just taken for granted by one side
How to turn "Understanding these terms is important because, by using our services, you’re agreeing to these terms.",a phrase without agency on the users to users actively wanting to engage with the terms of service *in order* to use the services
Instead of a laundry list of bullet points, how can terms and services accomadate individual's preferred learning style? audio, visual, tactile?! etc etc etc

Sections of a Collective Terms of Service
a section on (intellectual) property. the work that the members of the collective produces is not the is the work of the collective, not the work of any individual. no individual is the collective's representative. no individual is its leader. yes!!thank U 

Collective Terms of Service (living draft)
- centered on protecting the "user" (the term user has been compared to drug and addiction. what can we call each other / language justice) (engager? coconpsirator?) <3 rather than  the platform  
- accountability beyond legality (calling in the idea of being 'politically ungovernable' from Fred Moten's Undercommons)(haha, I have Moten down below as well :) )
- a declaration of values, land, lineage (inspired by, listening to, moving with...)+++
- an invitation to contribute + adapt the conversation
- a challenge to capatalistic ownership of our content and selves to own our own representations - chimeras
- expectations / space / rights / comfort of the body
- relationship of individual to collective 
- caveats about our use of platform -- where we choose to use platforms that go against our hopes & ideals & values 
- invitation to fluidity & modification while having enough of a form to grasp onto, and have a stake in
- anonymity & identity 
- our responsibilities and goals for access, welcoming, invitation 
- who is the collective TOS "for" or on whose behalf does it operate 
- understanding of 'collectives' as not being bound to specific static forms, once and for all; collectivity exists between people but also within (we are many 'selves'); this would mean that a collective terms of service needs to be as prone to change as we are YES LIVING, changing growing
- an articulation of 'service'; Stefano Harney and Fred Moten talk about 'debt without credit', the idea that we are all responsible to some broader socality but that is should not be under the threat of someone coming to 'collect' on that debt; encouraging an idea of service that is not coerced, but emerges from a desire to discover affinities and where we can nurture (serve) one another
- an articulation of 'terms'; while we might desire to inhabit spaces that are as capacious as we are heterogeneous, it can  be difficult to find our way to/with one another without some kind of form; I wonder if our 'terms' could attend to the way in which we imagine forms coming into and out of being (ie, a process for how we determine the provisional modes of being-together as opposed to a fixed mode).

- can TOS account for those aspects of our desires that we believe we are aware of AND those we have yet to realize/contend with? (can a TOS be a poetic work that moves beyond legalese/techno-financial language?) (<3<3<3 [ie, love this!]) cue 'Alt Text as Poetry' here  (ahahahaha) [the uprising: poetry and finance, by berardi]

case-by-case based on who is there, who the space is for, a process of negotiation; a collective terms of negotiation. everyone who participates in the space should have a role in shaping this. a source site that creates a resource adapted to unique contexts or communities:
beyond meritocracy (systematically runs on privilege) - how may some folks' voices + needs be prioritized, folks who are traditionally marginalized and lack privilege
commitment to work through and past discomfort. gives room for folks who experience oppression to express that

what does the terms of service look like? I'm tired of times new roman yes same!  (hahaha), what about a terms of service that is visual, a video, a series of gifs or glitches i love this!! voice notes, etc. how does a TOS corrupt, evolve, be openly editable, communicable+++  (with audio, sound description, +1 accessibility) fluid multi-form, not 1:1 across various channels of access? what is our ideal tangible form of collectivity

using experimental Web Design to move beyond pre-made platforms? 

active welcoming and invitation. specific strategies / openings for how to bring folks in. language accessibility in particular. okay to ask questions. holding for spectrum of literacy and separating that from assumption of value / what is deserving of respect / superiority / exclusivity
- western ideas of knowledge --> you need to get indoctrinated in a canon that requires English fluency and specific academic terminology
language around - we are going to use different words to describe similar things, vice versa. 
hyperlinks out to a glossary
open source code. vocabulary, central values, various sections: access, disabilities, consent, language for folks with traumatic sexual abuse, etc as part of the larger document 

More questions to inspire & respond to...... 
What do we consider a public space? (Is it something about what we feel like when we use it; our expectations for access; who owns or maintains it?)
- public space: "polis" / the location where politics & solidarity occurs, where bodies share space & breath [arendt]
What do we consider a digital public space (and what makes a good one?) 
- is the digital space public or private? (the platform is privately-owned by a corporation, the communication between profiles/avatars/digital manifestions of being is public, yet the data is once again privately-held by a corporation)
What should people be allowed to do in a public space? What should be encouraged or discouraged? 
What are our needs in digital vs. physical spaces? where do spaces we currently inhabit fall short? 
Where might a "collective terms of service" be used, and for what purpose? For OUR terms of service, who should be included, represented or invited to define it? Who maintains or updates it?
What areas/topics should be included?

Idea bank from initial introductions

care ecology, complexes of subjectivation, decentralized, non-authoritarian, organization, collaboration, healing, expression, new ways of relating, learning, articulating, queer spaces, politics of care and intimacy, mental health, lush, grief-informed, direct action, philso-raptoring, resist total zoomification, commodified, collectivity, intervention, user manifesto, personal, intimate, discourse, performance, neoliberalism, death and dying, facilitate, planetary, more-than-human, consciousness, strange, embodied affordances, rooted cosmoplitanism, proof-of-rest, ethical tech, implications, opportunities, process, sustainable livelihood, thrive, collectively built, flexibly defined, hugs, intimate tech, contact, law, contracting, agreements, creative misuse, nonhierarchical intimacy

April 10, and 12, 2021 welcome session

How would you define a “hybrid” (digital + physical) space? Where does this get complicated?  

I'm thinking about how even outside of the hybrid of digital space and our own phsyical spaces we are coming to the conversation from, there's a phsyicality to digital spaces that is often not acknowledged - servers etc, how our digital presence actually necesitates a lot of physical space, labour, processes, energy. People don't think about things like email having a carbon footprint but I think there's value in thinking about that. 
Adding onto that thought, also how digital spaces don't necessarily respect their users' physical experiences. 
- live event streamed, digital communities that can interact with a live event: 
-   EMBODIMENT – what does it mean to actually physically engage differently with tech when it demands such homogeneous actual physical use (typing, clicking, scrolling)- are these things that can be intervened in? (Yes, I'm super interested in that question too!)
-responding to action
a space where the physical processes to make digital spaces are seen just as relevant in the whole web of what makes us connect
- challenge for future hybrid events: separation of physical and digital audience; how they can meet, interact; do they need to meet, interact? 
- There's something important in thinking about hybrid space as individuals bringing the challenges of their physical spaces into the digital realm. I'm thinking about an example in a workshop I was present in where a traumatic topic was brought up and a lot of people had a really bad reaction - especially the people who lived alone or were in less than safe home environments at the time. This was something that the organizers didn't take into consideration because it wasn't thought of as a hybrid space/a space where people were existing independantly in their own lives.
There are so many interactions between the 'physical' vs 'digital' world both in terms of infrastructure and embodied experiences that it hardly feels useful to separate them anymore in some ways....yet the intimacy of interaction in physical space can feel much more powerful 

- the more relevant question is when can we define a space as only physical or only digital. Is any space purely digital? Don't think it can be.
-every (or most) space(s) we are in these days is hybrid...we exist in community digitally but are also physically present in the space we are logging in from 
- It might be useful to consider the digital/physical binary in relation to two other related binaries: analog/digital and physical/virtual. Here are some proposed distinction criteria for those binaries: analog/digital=continuous/discrete, physical/virtual=constrained by laws of physics/constrained by some other set of rules (eg one can copy, share, and edit informational/virtual objects in ways that are difficult or impossible for physical objects) . Not sure what to use for the physical/digital binary but it seems more sociopsychological to me than the other two, as in speaking more to the quality of our subjective engagement with such spaces. Just some thoughts!

the hybridity of the digital / physical space is created by the networked connections between compatible units. 

What do you find challenging about digital experiences? What do you need or what would you ideally receive from online spaces? 

I find them challenging because many sensorial feelings are kind of it feels harder to connect /// What I would ideally receive from online spaces ...Im not sure, maybe ability to be more collective and resist in a way that becomes more tangible
-challenging: losing many important aspects of social experiences irl which define the aura 
/ gathering and create a common context > same place, same cirucmstance, similar experience (gets lost in digital encounters)
- a lot of concentration on visuals, screen-based.
- Feeling cut off physically from people: no hugs, no small random encounters for building human relationships-Super resonate on that.Just feel being dehumanlized.Agree!
- Not being able to feel the physical presence of bodies is challenging - harder to relate to people socially and understand social dynamics. Something I would like to experience more frequently in online spaces is a sense of equality/collectivity
-digital spaces like social media can feel competitive, and comparative. as our selves constantly change, iterate, and adapt, our social medias feel stale (fake? inauthentic? idk)!! yes social media = fake intimacy also because likes/reactions give u a feeling of validation that makes you feel some people care when they actually didn't make quite an effort (they just clicked a button!)
-A challenge I've had is not being connected to individuals in group settings like workshops or Zooms - I might feel a connection to the community but if there is a conflict, a trigger, something that needs to be discussed or thought through or debriefed in an individual way, the scaffolding of care that often exists naturally in physical spaces through relationship building is gone. How do we work through things that come up and allow for care that cannot or should not be done as an entire collective? I'm thinking about access features like having an active listener present or intentionally building in interpersonal avenues of care. 
-   IRL familiarity w/ anyone feels safe- fear of being singled out/ needing to perform some type of statement on the Zoom box feels unsafe, listening to others makes me feel safe, being able to participate in non-performative ways
- Permanence of online spaces, everything is being recorded/saved and makes it hard to be in the moment, carefree.
- The feeling that my words cannot be in draft. When in person, I can speak my mind without having the constant worry that what I said is recorded or archived somewhere. Therefore, I spend a lot of time editing my thoughts before I post something online.
- It is difficult to give my whole attention to a digital space, where everyone is in a different environment with different distractions, versus in a physically together space where (at least theoretically) everyone is experiencing the same/similar sounds, visuals, etc. - i totally agree. it's hard to be present mentally when you're not really present physically.

What does it take to make you feel welcome in a space?

- Explicit demonstration of equity literacy. Introduction of pronouns, land acknowledgements, recognition of inequity  as a pervasive, perpetual state. A lack of pretense around ideas of "rationality," communication agreements, demonstrated commitment to listening.  
- ^^^ nailed it... warmth LAUGHING together/ play / silliness 
- Acknolwedgement and validation of thoughts, contributions
- grounding exercises  - a shared/ external activity? something tactile like doodling/ stretching- people eating or generally discussing food… animals, mutual appreciation & active listening, warmth/ muchness
- feeling safe
- non-binary
- Feeling invited/welcomed, like I'm allowed to be there and not intruding 
- ^^ yes yes yes
-listening / attention equally for everyone > considering everyone's unique viewpoint
- when it's okay to show intense emotions (such as crying etc.) and people are not judging (rather understanding or just letting you be)
grounding exercises, space where I can mess up, kept accountable somehow and I dont know, colective support
- Active listening -- being seen, being heard, --^^^
- an invitation
being talked to in the space
Open conversation. Not being left out of hidden side discussions.--^^^

What are some spaces that you love being part of? 

- Virtual Care Lab
- ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
- Remote Access Events
- Conferences
Coffee shop locally where I recognize people ^^^
local little italy market - old people, comfortable shoes, no cool factor
- my friend annabelle and def's apartment, it's filled with artwork and plants, and smells, and we make music and food together!
- my friend Jess's artist support group, that meets once a month to exchange experiences
- Study Groups of Union Docs seminars
- "Buy Nothing" initiative 
- attending certain festivals for the first time (accessable and affordable for the first time)
- anonymous discord channels
- weird facebook
- zoom panels/conversations/etc. (they're v low pressure in comparison to their meatspac equivalents) 
- local non-profit repair shop for phones and laptops ) its turned into quite a community hub
- also strangely find community in ! think such a good space to collect information and sort through the masses of stuff online
- library <3 !!! rt
- church :)
- we have a university meme channel and it has the best memes and it makes us laugh at things we're all experiencing in (our particular) uni 
- yoga class with certain instructors in the outdoors
- most but not all queer spaces
- drive ins!!!
- best friend's bedroom 
- Parks & areas to hike in - outdoors away from city etc
- Mazes of alleyways in the city
artivism spaces
-Bunz, fb groups with freelancers
discord, those little nooks in the corners of 24 hour spaces, wherever people are
- the bluffs near my childhood home
writing groups! / what'sapp group text

What makes a good public space? (can think about physical spaces) 

-I wonder about this a lot and tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the words "good" and "public", what they function as metaphors for; what's tricky is that what may be "good" is incredibly contextual and relational ("good" doesn't sit still) - how do we be intentional given the unknowability of how we are, what we will be? Further, "public" is also tricky because of its binaristic/governmental relationship to the idea of "private"; we know from anecdotal experience that there is no such sharp divide yet a lot of our legal language requires that these distinctions be made (often to the benefit of those who construct the langauge and to the potential damage of those excluded from this process). If we take "public" to mean something to do with a conscientiously and occassionally conteniously negotiated set of share material/psychic/social conditions, then it's frightening to hear discourses that would tell us that Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, etc. are the contemporary "public". Ultimately, this prompt makes me want to collaborate with the folks here, to study, to be through doing, to perform possible ways of being together and understand what our shared desires and frictions mean in contrast to what we are given (by prevailing powers) to organize ourselves into optimal vectors for flows of capital (that often fl
-no exclusive "cool" factor, welcoming, good temperature
- ^^^^^^^^^^ - ^^^^^^^^^^ 
- accesible facilities and lots of places to sit down comfortably (rest spaces) 
- spaces that acknowledge and celebrate diversity in a genuine way...organized by people for whom that is clearly a personal priority.
- "Soft" materials / design language in that space (i.e. rounded as opposed to hard edges, wood, greenery as opposed to concrete or glass)
- Someone/thing saying hi+1 <3
- a place where individual expressiona and exploration can thrive and is encouraged where sharing and internalizing is vital and fluid
- comfortable. somewhere you can stay for a long period of time.
Openness to being used for various purposes that are sometimes at odds 
Reminds people that they should tolerate others' uses within the space 
- -   spontaneity, difference, warm lighting, music, plants, animals, non-securitized access/ anti-credentialism  
+1 spontaneity
-Owned by the public, well funded by community, active.
- access for everyone (inclusive spaces)
- flexibility 
- safety (architecture, from potential danger, enough light, regulations against violation)
accessibility, if its a space for the public it needs to be inclusive of the public
proper lighting (not too harsh!) good ventilation, a bathroom and a nearby source of coffee or pastries.
- free food lol

What makes an online space feel “safe” or “unsafe” to you? What about a physical space? 

- safe: knowing the people involved, having someone there I trust
- unsafe: feeling like I'm expected to do something I didn't expect to have to do.
- transparency & openness, being able to see/know that safety has been considered. 
room to participate on my own terms
- ^^^ this is so important 
- i think online space can interrupt physical spaces which can feel very affronting. A physical space allows me the option to choose how can engage in an autonomous way. online space feel more extroverted to me. +1!
- unsafe: the sense that everything I do can be surveilled/documented, used, witnessed by people with negative or manipulative intentions; shaped to serve platform profit motives, etc
- unsafe: feeling pressured to speak, being singled out
-safe: being able to leave at any time with no guilt
- unsafe: when there's no regulation for harassment or violence
- safe: bodily autonomy, laughter, non-judgement, positive intentions, coming from a place of learning and curiousity
unsafe: harsh sounds, no consideration for various bodies, commitments, lifestyles... expert energy >:(

- -   IRL familiarity w/ anyone feels safe- fear of being singled out/ needing to perform some type of statement on the Zoom box feels unsafe, listening to others makes me feel safe, being able to participate in non-performative ways
- by acknowledging spaces are neither "safe" or "unsafe". that one person's safe is anothers unsafe. without action, the language of safety is manipulated. it's ongoing/active not binary. 

What feels different in public vs. private spaces? 

- fences

- public is more surveilled, i feel hyper-aware of my body and it's movements. whereas in the private we can choose our surveillance and decide what comforts are necessary for our engagement
- i have an opposite feeling, knowing the extent to which online interactions are recorded & surveilled, even an intimate personal conversation can sometimes 
-There's also something weirdly public about the digital 'private' space - Zooming in from your bedroom
- private space is a place where i can be in my body, more present and quiet. it allows me to be contemplative and thoughtful without needing to perform for others and integrate peacefully and wiht care vs public space is a dissociative experience that feels demanding on my spirit and attention, there's a sense of urgency and assertiveness that leaves me tense and unsafe

Private spaces can feel intimate because you know you won't be interrupted by strangers. Or, thinking about 'private' places with strangers (i.e. salons, clubs, members-only types of things), there is a feeling of shared outlook / unspoken agreement on etiquette and norms. With public spaces, I think there's something that can feel intimate when you experience a strong interpersonal connection with someone in that space, or a powerful connection to space/place on a personal level, because of how shared and public that space is. Public spaces constantly remind me of how other people use, shape and experience the world differently than I do. 

sometimes even private physcial space can feel really difficult to access- i find / feel most private when I am playing video games on my own with headphones because i live in such close proximity to my neighbours and rarely feel fully phyically 'alone'- so what i guess I am trying to say here is the lines are often blurry ( especially when we are thinking of digital spaces that give the illusion of privacy as a method of gaining control )good point! makes me think of my favorite poem!! it's german but here's a translation of it:ädter-city-slickers.html <3

it's sometimes hard for me to delineate between public and private especially with the pervasiveness of the digital public sphere. hoping to figure out how to create private space for myself when i feel overwhelmed by social media, etc. 

ownership, external/internal

mostly my preconcieved biases as an american about private vs public ownership

What are you hoping to gain or learn by exploring this with us? 

I want to hear other people's perspectives, find where they intersect with my own, where they might actually deepen my own understanding or expand how I think about what a caring virtual space means. I also want to learn ways we can strengthen virtual care lab as a space! (always!!!) And invite in new friends to garden it with us! 
I hope to hear about others' reflections on care in physical/virtual space, and compare their reflections to my own
I want to see how people are thinking about care in multiple communities across multiple disciplines-- care is  not restricted to one language  or canon of thought. 
Other perspectives and ways of thinking. Generative ways of having complex, multiple practices approach the same task/issue. Reminder that people are also prioritising and valuing care/intimacy.
I'm hoping to feel a sense of tenderness online - something I've been lacking the past year. I'm interested in learning about how others experience this and how we can work together to generate digital intimacy. 
^^^^^ <3
Being able to be a better contributor to online spaces and communities
being a part of alternative spaces is empowering + expansive, we can create the realities we want to see! it's also constantly important to consider perspectives other than your own (new considerations and modes for connection + care)
no clue - I don't even know what a private space means at this moment, I'd like to think its the"safer' place, but private spaces can also feel unsafe.

what of the commodification of space? how do physical and digital spaces differ in their means of commodification? as the distinction between physical and digital collapses, how do the mechanisms of commodification? ultimately, how commodification influence a space's safety, inclusivity, and capacity for intimacy, care, and sensitivity? 
- on the most basic level, to commodify space is to expose it to the logic of the exchange. the exchange is a vector by which inequities, biases, violences external to a space may be imposed upon it from without.
- a cursory review of the ways in which space may be commodified:
    * in the dynamic of an abstract market which responds to scarcity and prefers fungibility (space/land as currency)
    * space as a territory for production (labor occupying space)
    * space as a locus for surveillance (activity within a space harvested as data, which is its own commodity)
- "the market" increases the permeability of space (i.e. the space's exposure to the outside world) and challenges the task of controlling/governing/managing space
- work that aims to enhance the safety/inclusivity/sensitivity/intimacy of any space must inevitably deal with the forces of commodification


  Welcome to the etherpad-lite instance hosted by Varia! 
  You are most welcome to use it but please take note of the following things: 

  - The pads are not indexed by search engines, but anyone that knows its URL is welcome to read and edit it.

  - The contents of the pads are not encrypted, meaning that they are not private. 
  - Anyone with access to the server has the possibility to see the content of your pads. 

  - We make our own backups, meaning the the contents of all pads sit on our harddrives potentially indefinitely.
  - Because the identity of a pad author cannot be confirmed, we don't respond to pad retrieval requests.

  - If you rely on the content of these pads, please remember to make your own backups.
  - The availability of the pads is subject to cosmic events, spilled drinks and personal energies.

  - Both the physical and digital spaces of Varia are subject to our Code of Conduct <>

  If you wish to publish a pad to the Varia etherdump <> add the magic word __PUBLISH__ (remove the spaces between the word and __) to your pad.